The Crippling Effect of Inaction

The Crippling Effect of Inaction

pexels-photo-186537Since before my alarm was set to go off this morning, I started thinking about whether I was going to call in sick to work. I had a less than stellar weekend that left me more exhausted than when it started, and physically I feel below average. After pushing my alarm back three times, I ended up getting up and getting out the door only to arrive at work and immediately start regretting my decision to come in. So thus began the hour and half long game I played with myself about whether I was going to go back home or stay at work and tough it out. An hour and a half! Checking my emails, reading an article, starting some light work, and all the while playing mental chess to figure out whether I was going to stay or go. Needless to say, I am more exhausted now than I was when I even got to work. My anxious thoughts spiraled because I allowed them to, and instead of getting on with my work albeit feeling tired, all I did was further deplete my energy because I could not come up with a decision of what to do. This limbo state happens to all of us because we are torn between what we want to do and what we should do, and weighing the pros and cons of making a decision one way or another, but 90 minutes is just way too long for something that is not exactly rocket science. So instead of continuing to struggle for who knows, how long I decided to write. By immersing myself in a completely unrelated task, and one that I enjoy doing, I was able to stop the mind game for a while, and focus my energy and attention on writing. I also texted my husband and let him know that I was struggling today, and received words of encouragement which helped me to feel like this work day will come to an end, and I will get to be back home, enjoying his company and some much needed down time. By the time I finish writing this, I will probably have 30 minutes or so left until a hard stop in my day to attend a seminar. After that it is a class in the afternoon, and then back to my projects. Turning the inaction to action of any kind helped me feel less stressed about how my day was going to go, and how today I would have much rather stayed home and rested. It’s a small victory, and one I hope takes less than an hour and a half to achieve in the future.

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